Thank god the browser has opened! My head is about to explode, in words instead of a Polaroid image. Stress of the final few days makes me a little edgy as i don’t take well to being told what to do, especially after a heady afternoon in the pub and a little too much to drink. Time continues running away and the stress of change is imminent; goodbyes are sad.
My removal from this came via a walk into the fields, on a nostalgic hill looking down at the river, and the cows and the sunset. Listening to Kylie and smoking a one skinner. The space and the sounds and the pair of cows carefully trotting toward the rest of the heard, hopefully not because i was breaking the quiet and the vibration dynamic, but because they were simply on their way, trotting on, trotting off. The field full of sheep seemed to enjoy my rendition of “All The Lovers”, but i have just had five pints. I said goodbye to the landscape whilst filling my eyes and several other organs with the view; perhaps for the final time, this time.
Over the day’s i have been staying at my parents house i have become so much more involved with the sky. It’s absorbing me whether its blue and white, or grey and wet ( Or a combination of it all ). It’s so much more visible here and i am getting so much space from space. Lines of cable or peaks of buildings, or clouds and blue. I have began to look up and look closer to this infinitive mass and getting rather lost in it. Like i feel more attached and closer to being apart of it, in an airplane or the ether. The regions of space beyond the earth’s atmosphere; the heavens.
Heading towards spirituality as an individual would have great personal benefits, but being part of “The Ideal” makes it sooo much harder. How can one have a journey toward god and enlightenment whilst having a relationship with someone else, on earth? I never have been very good at multi-tasking!