Exclusive!The Death of Pinky Binks

Why do i have this overwhelming feeling that i am going to die soon. A rational fear? A feeling that is all-encompassing. Like looking forward to something which shouldnt be thought about but is. The only real true  fact from ones life. Why do i have this feeling, this knowledge, this belief. Why am  i waiting to die?

Last night we went for a curry; a leaving meal with family. A weekend spent partying with all of my family. My mother’s sixtieth birthday. A feeling that i have spent a milestone with both of my parents. I am grateful i spent it with them, but still this leads me back to my first sentence on this page. A sentence of fear and fear. Something i have never felt before, not this intense.

My only explanation for this irrational fear is reading the news every day and being so closely linked with the horror that this world faces, via the press. I absorb the internet far too much, hence having these stupid thoughts.

This is the real reason i worry about going away. My death. The end. His death, our death.I can skirt around the edge of pretty-ing up sentences but when it comes down to the real anxiety this is my concern and the fear i have within. I am going to die soon and i can do nothing about it. I have not made the choice but this is the end. I can feel the realise.

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6 comments

  1. Shelly

    One Chapter dies so another can start, like the Mayans predicted the End of the World…in my belief- as we once knew it, change and new beginnings which alot of peeps are feeling right now can be like feeling you are going to stop existing or die- I believe we either step up to a higher consciousness or get left in a disgruntled existence that refuses to welcome change and open mindedness. Its a scary time, lots of apprehension… I try to stay in the now and right now Im alive. Stay strong n positive Mr Binks, I believe in you. :)

  2. earthdrifter

    PINKY: Life is but a speck of time. Birth starts the the process of death. We’re all in the same boat. Become a news resister. This will reduce negative thought. I didn’t notice any spelling mistakes.

    SHELLY: Here is a quote that I love, it’s from: “From Whom the Bell Tolls”
    “You have it now and that is all your life is; now. There is nothing else than now. There is neither yesterday, certainly, nor is there any tomorrow. How old must you be before you know that?”
    –Ernest Hemingway

    • Shelly

      earthdrifter: Love the name! we are all drifters upon this earth, just learning and gaining knowledge. There are no mistakes just experiences to learn from, we find out who we are, by discovering who we are not.
      Ernest Hemingway- a very wise man. thank you for sharing that quote. :)

      “I can only exist in the one place I am, that place is now…now its now”..etc.- a sense of humour always helps too ;)

      Death and Taxes, it comes to us all ;)

    • pinkybinks

      You know i know this……there is someting about this new wave of creativity that is so melodramatic! I will get to the fun, i honestly will!! :) Thanks earthdrifter :)

  3. Shelly

    P.S. I have been feeling quite apprehensive as of late, like something is about to happen, is happening, a change, not everything can be explained I guess. We will understand when we are meant to- yes we can all share words to make each other feel better, it is human instinct afterall, but we cannot change how we feel deep down.

    Im only human, so if I dont make it past the op. on Monday, steal my artwork and see if its true – artists only make money when they die!!?? :P
    Love to All Dudes n Dudettes, enjoy every precious moment!!! xxxx

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